Regarding the mundane: a reminder that I study here, sort of

“When I am in the country,” he replied, “I never wish to leave it; and when I am in town, it is pretty much the same. They have each their advantages, and I can be equally happy in either.” Charles Bingley, Pride and Prejudice. 

This quote more or less sums up my time here--when I'm here in Irkutsk, I want to stay in Irkutsk, and when I'm back home, I don't really want to leave the house, get out of bed, or do anything productive what so ever. I can't believe that February is almost over and with that, that I'll be done with the in-country portion of my program within the span of approximately three months. As much as I'm looking forward to seeing my friends and family, my return to the US this time round will be bitter-sweet since this is probably the last time I'll be living abroad for the foreseeable future. This third time round out of the country has definitely been my favorite, all bumps in the road aside, and the thought that it will all be over in May already has me feeling nostalgic about the whole experience.

Spring semester always seems to go by so much faster than the Fall, so the feeling of relative freedom that I had last semester is quickly drawing to an end. I have a lot more to think about this semester--my grad thesis, going back to Middlebury, and worst of all, finding a job when I get back to justify all of the time, effort, and money that I've spent in the pursuit of a master's degree. I don't like putting it in terms like that since I really do enjoy learning for the sake of learning, exploring different countries, and meeting new people, but at the same time, there are material concerns like being able to feed and clothe myself that aren't really something I can completely ignore (as much as I would like to). My life would be much easier if I came into some money. Seeing as that's extremely unlikely, I have to concern myself with petty things like gainful employment and all of the hassle that comes with it.

At the moment, I'm focusing on my academics. As misleading as this blog and my facebook page may be, I do go to class sometimes in between jaunts on the Trans-Siberian, Baikal trips, and back alley adventuring around Irkutsk. Most of my classes this semester are at МИЭЛ, for all intents and purposes, the small, "Russian as a foreign language" university up the road from my apartment. As a grad student, I have the option of taking most of my classes with Russian students at the main campus, but I find that the Middlebury classes I can take at МИЭЛ are much more interesting and useful for me since a) they're geared towards non-native speakers and b) I have no more than one other person taking them with me at any given time which is AWESOME practice. It's also way less of a hassle since I don't have to get permission to take these classes, track down the professor to write out a syllabus/grade me, etc, etc. Russia is a walking bureaucracy and the universities are no better--we'll leave it at that. Last semester I had two individual classes at МИЭЛ, Siberian History and Advanced Russian grammar. I really enjoyed working with the two professors who taught them, Anna Mikhaelovna and Irina Miletievna, who, whereas are extremely different in both personality and approach to teaching, are similar in the fact that they're very passionate and talented educators. This semester they're working with the undergrads so I have a completely new group of professors.

My individual Russian stylistics class is with Lyudmila Semenovna, a very sweet, babushka-like lady who usually works with the Chinese and Korean students. You can definitely tell this is the case since she made a point of repeating her name to me about three times, very slowly and precisely during our first class together. So far I'm liking class with her. The stylistics class is sort of a smorgasbord of grammar/morphology/phonetics/slang/literature all wrapped into one. So far a lot of what we've been doing is breaking down Russian words by figuring out their prefixes, suffixes, and roots and using that information to figure out their meaning. It's actually really useful since if you understand how prefixes/suffixes work in Russian and have a decent working vocabulary, you can pretty much figure out about 90% of Russian words without having to consult a dictionary. Also, I really enjoy stuff like that so it's fun and interesting for me. So far...so far...

I'm also taking a modern Russian lit class. One of the undergrads, Sam, was also crazy enough to take this class with me, so I'm luckily not left completely to my own devices. Our professor, Aleksandr Genadievich, a young, enthusiastic, and ridiculously well read guy, can pretty much talk in depth about any subject that comes to mind, so it's nice to have someone else to help field questions. It's a really interesting class but can at times be a little challenging. Discussing postmodernist literature in English can at times be confusing so imagine trying to do the same--only in Russian. These are usually the times when I feel just how inadequate my Russian really is. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. There's a huge difference between my level of Russian when I'm just hanging out with my friends at Papa Johns (i.e. the place to be in Irkutsk) and when I'm discussing scholarly, academic type things, so it's good to be reminded that I have a lot to work on as I will occasionally find myself in slightly classier locations/situations. Today he read to us for a good forty minutes without pause out of this tome of a book and then proceeded to try to get us to discuss what he had read. My commentary was some muddled version of "Yeah...huh...what to say to that...uuuhhhh...interesting...I liked the...dialogue...there was dialogue, right? Sweet. Just as I suspected." I don't have a degree in Russian literature for nothing, people.

Aleksandr Genadievich is also my grad thesis advisor as of today. I had my first meeting with him this afternoon and my initial idea of studying folkloric icons in Russian literature was pretty much thrown right out the window within the first two minutes of our conversation. Basically the advice that I got was that I wouldn't be writing anything that hasn't been written 100xs over by people who know more than I do and with whom I'm not allowed to dispute the topic since their word is pretty much canon. So essentially that it would be boring and a waste of my time. At this point I pretty much just want to write a decent paper and know that I won't be making any new, eye opening discoveries in the span of 23 to 40 pages. Since I really only have about three months to get it done, practicality is the name of the game. That's not to say that I can't write something interesting and somewhat original but at the same time, I don't really have the time to do something completely off the beaten path. After discussing what I might be interested in, these are the current finalists: The role of blizzards (метель) in Russian literature; different takes on the Mozart/Salieri legend as interpreted by Russian authors; Russian dueling culture in Russian literature. In theory I could pick any one and run with it but chances are I'll go with door one or three for the sake of practicality. The second topic would be cool but there's very little written about it and I would have to conduct a lot of in depth research, which may or may not be possible in the time frame that I have. Aleksandr Genadievich wants me to get the paper done by the end of April since he has four other students he's advising (who probably won't start working until May--they're Russian) so that topic isn't all the feasible in such a short time frame. I have this weekend to make up my mind and then it's time to hit the books, start working, and begin my descent into paper writing hell. Blah.

That's more or less what my academic life is looking like these days. I have to start pretending to be a serious graduate student and conduct research. Such is my lot. Luckily I'm getting WiFi come next week (knock on wood) so I can do a lot of work from the comfort of my bed.

That may or may not be a good thing, come to think of it...что делать. I promise to make a much more entertaining post next time with lots of pictures and funny stories. As is my usual way of things. This was just a reminder that I am getting some sort of education on the side/am a very serious academic type in case there was any doubt. 

Out and About--Weekend Adventures in Irkutsk

Things have been picking up since my last update--classes have started, classes have been rearranged about five times over, and I'm more or less adapted back to life in Irkutsk. After our introductory week of classes at МИЭЛ, everyone was ready for some weekend adventuring around the city. My friends from the Czech Republic, Zuzana and Petra, as well as our German friend, Eva, recently returned from their trip to Vladivostok, which naturally meant that a trip to our favorite Uzbek restaurant was in order. Eating out in Irkutsk is actually pretty inexpensive if you know where to go. On average, I can eat a full meal for $6 and under (including tea and bread/appetizers). I've eaten as cheaply as $1, but that's more along the lines of grabbing a snack in the central market or something from the university dining hall/stolovaya. Finding new, cheap, and tasty holes in the wall is one of my favorite things to do here. It was in that spirit that I invited our new students (plus Phillip) to come join us at our favorite little hole in the wall. 

My favorite Czechs, Zuzana and Petra :-)

For the life of me, I can never remember the name of this restaurant, nor have I ever been able to properly explain to anyone how to find it. This isn't so much a commentary on my Russian skills so much as my ability to read maps, pay attention to street signs, and generally explain to other people how to find things. I usually orientate by getting lost one or fifteen times or so and then letting my natural honing skills kick in. It's easier for me to just show people where stuff is and then let them give concrete directions next time round. It's a win-win for everyone. The best way I could describe how to find this place is that it's somewhere in the back of the central market and involves weaving through a labyrinth of slapped together Chinese and Uzbek run stalls where people simultaneously try to get you to buy knock off goods and touch your butt as you pass by. It's the sort of place that someone has to take you to or you'll never find on your own, good directions or not. The place is run by a group of little Uzbek ladies, who, the first time we showed up, were somewhat confused as to what a group of foreigners were doing in their establishment, as the majority of their clientele are local traders and not twenty something year old university students. At this point, they more or less know what's up, but they were still a little taken aback when our horde blew in on Saturday for lunch. We had a very large, very lively group this weekend--six Americans, two Czechs, two Germans, and a new student at the university from England--all of whom were speaking Russian with varied fluency and accents. To say that we called a little bit of attention to ourselves might be a bit of an understatement. Luckily the people who run the restaurant are really nice and have a good sense of humor so we managed; we enjoyed their delicious food and they enjoyed our delicious money. Between eleven people, I'd venture to say that we ate quite a bit...

At the Uzbek restaurant enjoying some zharkoe, a mix of some sort of grilled meat (better not to ask/know/find out/think about), french fries, and veggies, all slathered in a savory sauce. It is all that is good in this world and costs $5. Mmmmm. 

One thing I like about typical Russian service (probably the only thing) is that waiters aren't checking in on you every two minutes trying to rush you out the door to turn over your table, so you can spend a couple hours in a restaurant without being hassled. It's especially easy to do that in said establishment as the booths are actually comfy couch-like platforms which you can stretch out on as you enjoy your meal. The only thing that kept us from staying longer was the lack of a bathroom and the overabundance of tea, a dangerous combination, to say the least. Our next stop of the day was the small ice-rink near МИЭЛ, where my friends and I have gone a couple times to practice for our future Lake Baikal skating ambitions. This time it was with Petra, Phillip, and three of the undergrads. My practice paid off a little bit. I was by no means graceful but I didn't fall this time, so that's something. The same can't be said for my fellow Southerners. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures to post from the part of the outing as I was more concerned about not killing myself than I was about documenting it. 

Our final stop of the day was without a doubt the most interesting. Ever since my Russian friends found out that a group of American guys would be coming to Irkutsk they've been bugging me to bring them to Lingua Cafe. Lingua Cafe is a weekly meet and greet between some of the local Russian students and visiting foreigners, where people can meet up and practice foreign languages. Among other things. It also happens to meet at Most Cafe, which happens to be Irkutsk's one and only (to my knowledge) gay club. This is something that I happened to forget to mention when I made the invitation to my new friends--yes, I honestly did forget to mention it, probably because I've been there so many times now that I associate it more with being Lingua Cafe than with being a gay club. This is mostly due to the fact that we met there on Thursday nights last semester when the place was pretty empty. Saturday nights are a different story, as I found out. The night got off to a strange start. Most Cafe is located in a somewhat sketchy part of town down by the river. During the day, the naberezhnaya (think river walk) is one of the more scenic, pleasant parts of town to visit if you're looking for a nice place to get some fresh air and clear your head. For whatever reason, it becomes one of the sketchier parts of town the second the sun sets and is frequented by all sorts of hooligans (in the words of every babushka I know).  The fastest way to Most Cafe from the main bus stop is through an isolated, wooded path, then through an abandoned gas station parking lot, and then through a hole in a fenced off alley way. As I said, it's a little bit sketchy. Since I've done this a couple times, I have what can best be described as an "eh, it's Russia, what can you do?", sort of attitude towards this sort of thing. I remembered just how bizarre this  probably was once we got inside of the club and everyone was looking at me like I was on crack for taking them to such a degenerate place and questioning what exactly I do with my spare time outside of class. These expressions were only intensified once we made our way into the main room, which is filled with pictures of mostly naked dudes. It was then that I remembered to mention that it was a gay club. I'm happy to say that we've got a very chill, open minded group of guys who took that information in stride and barely even blinked when the resident drag queens showed up. Молодцы. It also helped that I had a group of my (female) Russian friends waiting there to meet us. 

Directions to Cafe Most: wild dogs not included on the map.

All in all, I'd say it was a fun and original way to kick off the semester and all of the sketchiness can be chalked up to a bonding experience. It was great catching up with my old friends, as well as indoctrinating my new ones into the east-meets-west enigma that is Irkutsk. We'll see if they ever trust me to make weekend plans again...only time will tell...

Return to Siberia

Aaaannndddd...I'm back! I had a nice, long (longer than I anticipated) winter break in the US but everything must come to an end. I've been back in Irkutsk for about a week now and it's gearing up to be a great Spring semester.

The thought of returning to bitterly cold Irkutsk wasn't so pleasant when I was lying in bed with the flu but now that I'm back and feeling better, I realize how much I enjoy it here. True, it's insanely cold, so cold that my face freezes from time to time and there have been a couple occasions in which I thought I might lose a finger or two, but it's also really sunny, which is pretty much the most important thing for me anywhere so it sort of evens out. Of course, the best thing about Irkutsk are the people who have made this my home away from home in Siberia. I've gotten such a warm welcome back from my friends here and even got a phone call from our head professor within a couple hours of my arrival to make sure that I was back in one piece. Of course, no one can compete with Ludmila Danilovna, who was up waiting for me with a hot breakfast when I flew in and has been consistently force-feeding me delicious food ever since. She decided that I lost weight while I was home and has made it her personal mission in life to fatten me up. This weekend I was fed about every two hours with portions that would put a hobbit to shame. I live a hard life.

The biggest change so far this semester is that I'm no longer the only Middlebury student in Irkutsk. We have a group of five undergrad guys whom I met this weekend during our first excursion of the semester to Lake Baikal. So far, it seems like we have a really fun group and I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what this semester has in store. The only downside of having other Middlebury students around is that all of my classes are sort of squished together to accommodate other peoples' schedules since I'm a group of one person ...the plus side to this is that I get a four day weekend every week if I can find a mainstream class that works into my schedule so I can't really complain. Of course, said four day weekends are going to be used primarily for getting my grad thesis done but as long I focus on the "four day weekend--yaaay!" part of the deal, it sounds pretty great.

Our group at the Lake Baikal museum in Listvianka where we learned about the Baikal ecosystem, took a fake submarine ride, and watched a traditional seal fight. 

--Back to our excursion. As I may have mentioned in other posts, Lake Baikal is one of my favorite places in the world and by far makes up for anything that I don't like about Irkutsk (see: transport). Baikal in and of itself is a really interesting place. It's the world's largest fresh water lake and contains 20% of fresh water on planet earth. It's also the oldest lake in the world, about 25 million years old or so, and is roughly the size of a small ocean. It's also located about an hour away from where I live which makes it a perfect location for outdoorsy-type things, even in the dead of Siberian winter. The last time I saw the Lake was sometime in September when it was still warm enough outside for me to go cavorting about in the water in my underwear. Coming back in February is coming back to an entirely different Baikal. The Lake freezes over completely in January and I mean completely--none of this Hans Brinker nonsense of slipping through the ice and drowning. Walking across the lake is like walking across a pane of glass, a very cold, slippery pane of glass, and the water is so pristine that you can actually see to the bottom of the lake through the ice. It goes without saying that it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. Some of my friends went dogsledding on it while I was away in America so I'm thinking that that's in order once it's slightly warmer outside. 

Out exploring on the ice. 

We had a pretty full day in Listvianka, the small town on Lake Baikal about an hour or so from Irkutsk. As it was everyone's first time on Baikal (excepting me and Phillip), we checked out the local Baikal museum and tooled around the town. Of course, any authentic trip to Lake Baikal means indulging in omul (омуль), an endemic of the lake, which is super tasty once it's been smoked and salted. As long as you can get past the shock of what it looks like, it's something I would recommend to anyone. That, along with shasklik (think various grilled meats), made for some pretty good eating as we thawed out in a local cafe. 

Eating omul, a Baikal delicacy. It looks terrifying but it's actually really tasty. Warning: your hands will smell like smoked fish until the end of days after eating it. Your breath too. 

In short, good times were had by all. I definitely want to get back to the Lake once it warms up a little and do some more exploring before the thaw. I'll try to keep this blog updated better than I did last semester with all sorts of interesting Siberian tidbits and stuff. Until next time. 

Привет из Байкала! 

I'm Moving! (Part Three: Conclusion)

And here we have the conclusion of my three part series detailing my housing issues here in Irkutsk. Luckily it's a nice, happy sort of ending involving kind babushkas and my return to living like a normal person again. 

Anyway, it's been nearly a week since I moved out of Phillip's apartment and life is great. As much as I enjoyed my two weeks in Studgorodok (студгородок--the area of town where Phillip lives) it was definitely time for me to move on. By that I mean, had I stayed any longer, I would have been in grave danger of being force fed vegetables by my favorite resident director who decided that because I turned down brussel sprouts one time that I must be categorically opposed to eating anything green and healthful. Horror! 

Life with my new host is AWESOME. The all-caps is totally necessary. Ludmila Danilovna, my new host, is by far one of the nicest people I've ever met, in Russia or anywhere else. She's also an awesome cook and has made it her mission to get me to eat hobbit sized portions at every meal. I've gained about two pounds in the span of a week. Seriously, anyone who says that they don't like Russian food should come here for dinner. Your mind will be blown. I'm trying to learn some recipes while I'm here. Today I helped make piroshki with cabbage and mushrooms--mmmmmmm. 

An example of breakfast--this doesn't even touch the tip of the iceberg. It took me a day or so to realize that I was supposed to eat everything on the table myself. Everything is really tasty but I sort of feel like the kid from Matilda who has to eat the entire chocolate cake at every meal. #firstworldproblems

Besides Ludmila Danilovna, her grandson, Vanya, also lives here. He's around my age and is studying to become a pediatrician. In the meantime, he's working as a nurse at the local children's hospital in Irkutsk, so between that and school, he's very busy so we don't see much of him. We've chatted a couple times and he seems like a nice guy so I'm looking forward to getting to know him better over the next couple months. 

Life here is very different than in my former host family. I spend a lot of time with Ludmila Danilovna, either helping out in the kitchen or hanging out and watching Russian talk shows and soap operas. Ludmila has a great sense of humor so it's always interesting chatting with her. On the weekends we usually go out to do something around Akademgorodok (the new part of town I live in). Ludmila has lived in Irkutsk her entire life so she's a great guide and shows me all of the local places to shop where you can be sure to find a good deal. She took me out yesterday to buy унты (unti--I think people also call them mukluks. They're the traditional fur boots that the native people of Siberia wear and are insanely warm and the only thing that has been able to keep my feet warm when I'm outside in -30 F weather. I'll go more into detail later.). I was initially just going to go where some of my friends had bought theirs but Ludmila took me to an open air market where Mongolian traders set up shop a couple bus stops from where we live and got me an insanely good deal. I ended up paying less than half of what my friends had for the same quality of унты, plus got a pair of rabbit fur gloves, boot warmers, and a bag thrown in for free. She's pretty much a badass and I love her. I'm really glad that I gave living in a host family here another shot! We're going to go to another market next weekend where they sell vodka and cognac for cheap so I can pick up a couple things to bring home with me for Christmas (drink on the plane). 

In short, life is good! Here are some pictures of my new digs. 

The beautiful wall-rug hanging by my bed, a staple in any Russian household. It makes for a great and confusing skype backdrop.

A shot of my room. It's super cozy and adorable. 

I'm Moving! (Part Two: Phillip's Apartment of Horrors)

I'm finally free! Free! The following video most accurately sums up my feelings during the last couple days of my "host family" experience. Enjoy.

In short, I'm extremely grateful to be out of that situation. My only regrets are leaving behind a really cute, sweet dog that those people don't deserve, as well as the sexy J-Lo picture hanging above my sleeping couch. It was very tempting to pull an "oopsie" and throw that in my suitcase during my angry packing session. The last couple days with my host were very unpleasant, to say the least, and mostly involved me avoiding her and her alternately going out of her way to ignore me/do everything in her power to make things uncomfortable for me when I came home. My favorite incident was when she, assuming that I was using the apartment WiFi decided to make a point of shutting it off during the middle of a Skype call with my parents. Of course, I, assuming that she would do something nasty like that once I informed her that I was leaving, had already purchased a new simcard for my modem (aircard) and was able to carry out my conversation while she stood outside of my door for a good minute or so trying to wrap her brain around how I was able to keep talking despite her best efforts to thwart me (witchcraft). Foiled again! That's about the extent of her cunning. In any case, I've seen the last of her and can sleep easy knowing that she won't be funding her trip to China with my December rent money. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Really, you have no idea how happy that makes me. 

Needless to say, my life has taken a definite turn for the better since evacuating to the left island of Irkutsk. I should mention that left-island Irkutsk is an extremely dangerous place. Yes, Irina was kind enough to inform me of this when she sensed the first signs of dissent and gleaned that I might be planning on moving here. So, just so you know, left-island Irkutsk is sort of like Mad Max. Packs of wild, deranged youth roam the streets, wantonly shooting the elderly (and small children) on public transportation and beating people to death on their way to university. Young, curly haired, slovenly people who refuse to pay $50 a month for the privilege of doing their laundry...Speaking of which, it was very strange today doing my laundry without someone complaining at me the entire time. 

My two week's worth of laundry--does my opulence know no end!? There's like, two pairs of pants there. Good lord. I am literally the worst person in the world. 

Right, moving along...so these days I'm living in Phillip's new apartment. Phillip has gained 1,000 Kelsey points for this great act of kindness and a promise that he won't be blacklisted for at least until the end of the semester. In all seriousness, it's really awesome of him to let me crash here until December because that means that I don't have to pay two weeks worth of rent in a new host family. My soon to be new host very kindly offered to let me move in early and rent free until December but I would feel uncomfortable taking her up on that offer. A day or two rent free is one thing but feeding me out of pocket for two weeks is too much to ask. Like I said, people here are really kind so I try not to let this whole fiasco with my former host get me down! 

Sometimes that's easier said than done when I'm eating like this due to my need to be frugal this month since I'm out two weeks worth of rent/food money. 

Maybe Irina wasn't so off base in calling me a bum. Note my stylish wife beater. It was destroyed today in the bathtub due to my innate slovenliness and cutting corners when it comes to doing laundry. Foo.

When I get sad eating only ramen and spicy carrots for dinner I remember that I'm eating ramen and spicy carrots for dinner without the scrutiny of an avaricious, nagging woman around to critique my every move. And then I suddenly feel much happier. I'm probably behaving like much more of a slob than usual since I've been on pins and needles since, well, the start of September. It's probably a good thing that I'm living alone for a little while so I can blow off some steam before I move into a new host family and have to start behaving like a well adjusted member of society again. 

Until that time, I have the run of Phillip's new, terrifying apartment. It is truly a place of nightmares. I'm convinced that the previous owner was Russian Ted Bundy. Here's a list of some of the creepiest items Phillip and I have uncovered during our time cleaning out the apartment: 

1. A ponytail of human hair stored in one of the kitchen drawers 

Ok, I'm actually just going to stop right there. I don't know how to top that. 

Phillip with the offending item. There are no words for this. Well, at the time I think they were, "KELSEEEEEY. COME HERE. YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS." And then "Oh. My. God." And some other exclamations. The language pledge was broken many times over in this instance. 

The good news is that under a (deep) layer of filth and terrifying discoveries, the apartment is actually really nice and spacious and will be a great place once it's cleaned up/out. 

It's a very friendly layer of filth. 

Until then, I leave you with some of my favorite discoveries. 

One of many books about weaponry. A favorite theme of the previous owner, along with cats. 

I don't know what this is but I was happy to get rid of it. Dear god. 

Collection of pornographic shot glasses. 

The axe in the closet. Not so much that it's an axe but that it's just chillin out in the closet. 

I'm Moving! (Part 1)

Ah, I'm so bad at keeping up with this blog. I actually have an excuse in this case. Things have been crazy this month. First, I took another trip on the Trans-Siberian, got sick during the second part of the trip, and then came back to a pile of work. Sometimes I forget that I'm in grad-school since I don't have  busywork every day but then when I remember how many projects I have on the back burner, it all comes back to me pretty fast and I fly into a panic. That, however, has not been the cause of my lack of updates. Per the title of this post, I'm moving! It's a much longer story than it seems and I apologize in advance for bumming you out with this disaster. Thus, I present you with my latest post.

Kelsey Moves: Part 1 

As I've mentioned in my other posts, life here in Irkutsk is pretty great. The weather is sunny for the most part and when it's not sunny, it's a snowy, frost covered winter wonderland and is basically like living in a strange little snow globe. The people are nice for the most part too, I'm making friends, and I like all of my classes. Those of you who talk with me on a regular basis know that there's one glaring exception to all of this, that, of course, being my host. I think I briefly mentioned in one of the earlier posts how she tried to cheat me out of $50, a situation, that I really didn't want to explain in detail at the time since I've been trying to keep all of my posts pretty upbeat.

 Like I said, everything here has been great save for this situation (I feel like this is a disclaimer and I'll be repeating it a couple more times throughout this story, haha) and I don't want to cast my time here in a totally negative light based solely on the behavior of one miserable individual (I've been using all sorts of spicy words for her here in Russia, so we'll just stick with that for the print version of events). However, her behavior has been pretty ridiculous and I need to vent so now you get to know all of the juicy details. 

When I moved in in September, things started out ok. Not great but not terrible. Pretty much from day one I got the feeling that this woman, Irina, was only interested in my money. That's not to say that money isn't somewhat of a draw for any host but there's a huge difference between someone whose sole motivation in hosting a foreign student is entirely financially motivated and someone who, while happy to be getting extra money each month, is also interested in sharing their culture and getting to know their student. In the past, I've had great host families and whereas they were getting a stipend each month for hosting me, I never felt like I was just a cash cow. Unfortunately, that's been the case with Irina which is even more disappointing since everyone else I've met here in Irkutsk has been extremely kind and welcoming and gone out of their way to make me feel at home. That's why Siberia is such a great place to study abroad if you're interested in coming to Russia--as a rule, people are very open and generous...save for my host. My host is an aberration of the worst kind. 

The first serious incident I had with her was in October when it was time to pay my rent. When I first moved in, I asked (as more of a formality than anything) if she wanted me to pay extra to use the laundry machine. Just as an aside, no one I know who's lived in Russia has ever been asked to pay extra to do laundry. Water, especially in Siberia, is a really cheap commodity and so a couple extra loads a month doesn't really make a difference in anyone's water bill--and if it does, it's not by much at all and should be more than covered by what they're getting paid each month to host. So I was a little bit surprised when she told me that, yes, of course I needed to pay to use the laundry machine. As if that was a given. That was sort of strange but I figured that maybe things in Siberia were slightly more expensive (little did I know that the average water bill is between 50-100 rubles, or $1.50-$3.50) and so I asked how much she wanted me to pay per month. She sort of brushed off my question and gave a non-commital "Oh don't worry about it now, we'll figure it out at the end of the month" sort of reply which I took as confirmation that it's really not expensive and if there was a difference in their water bill, that's all I would pay. I guess my bad for just assuming that but like I said, the other host families I've had in Russia have been comprised of kind, honest people who would never dream of ripping off a foreign student so I didn't bother to press the issue. Cue one month later when it's time to pay rent. I bring up the topic again and ask how much I need to pay for doing my laundry roughly 4 times during the month of September. Also, as an aside, I was gone for more than half of the month of September--I only arrived on the 7th, traveled every weekend, and spent the last week of the month on a trip on the Trans-Siberian. That is to say, this woman basically got two weeks of free rent for the month of September (which comes to about $325 which is by no means anything to scoff at, especially in Russia). Anyway, Irina once again offhandedly tells me that she's not sure how much I need to pay, which I once again take as a sign that she needs to check the water bill to see if there's a difference. Nope. The bounds of this slag's greed know no bounds. She is utterly shameless.

She wants $50 

Fifty. Dollars. 

If that seems like a joke to you in American terms, let me confirm that it's EVEN MORE of a joke in Russian terms. It took me a minute even to process such a ridiculous request. 

 "Do you mean fifteen dollars?", I asked, thinking that maybe I misheard her. Even that would be pretty steep but it's still within the realm of possibility. Or so I thought at the time.

Nope, fifty. "Why, is that expensive in the US?", she asks, trying to wipe the greed induced slobber emanating from her mouth before I notice. 

Yes, that is extremely ridiculous. And I'm not going to pay it. This is what I said at the time and followed it up with a "show me the receipts". I was actually even more polite about it than I should have been and explained that if there was in fact a difference in the water bill based on the amount of laundry I did, I would pay it but only if she could actually determine what that difference was and not just come up with a random sum. The sum was actually not all that random, in all honesty. My rent is $650 each month and since Irina wants to be paid in dollars, I've paid an alternating $700 one month, $600 the next since I can only get $100 bills. In short, she's greedy and wants an even $700 each month which is totally ridiculous and breaks the original renters agreement we both signed when I moved in. 

That was the first hiccup, as it were. I didn't end up paying her the $50 since she could in no way prove that that was the difference and everyone here let me know that her request was totally out of the question. I probably should have made a bigger deal out of it at the time since she was so obviously trying to rip me off and basically broke our agreement within the first month of my living with her, but I decided to just brush it off and see if the situation improved since the apartment is located in a decent part of town and I didn't feel like moving out so soon after arriving. Yup, that was mistake! I blame it on my русская лень ("russkaya len", i.e. russian laziness) which is a character trait I fully embrace every time I come to Russia. I find that I have to be a much more chill, relaxed, and accepting person here in Russia to get through the day than I am ordinarily in the US just based on how things here are run. If I try to be too proactive or ambitious in achieving my goals, nothing will ever come of it and I just end up getting insanely frustrated and depressed. I'm not sure if this makes any sense but it's what works for me and is ordinarily a positive thing in my everyday Russian life. Just not in this case. In this case, I should have taken my host to task, reported her to the university, and let our local Middlebury coordinator, Phillip, have a lovely chat with her like he wanted to from the get go. However, I didn't want to do this at the time and let it go. Like I said, it was a mistake on my part. 

Things after this were ok for a little while, save for me being forced to do all of my laundry by hand in the bathtub, but then promptly took a turn for the worst. Irina is without a doubt the most unpleasant person I've ever had the misfortune of living with. I really have nothing good to say about her. I'll just sum it up by saying that she's a miserable human being and my quality of life has suffered since moving in with her. I've lost nearly ten pounds, in part due to the fact that she's also broken our agreement by feeding me pretty much whatever is lying around the house. To be fair, I will say that I normally lose a good deal of weight when I'm overseas in general, but she's still done a pretty poor job of providing me with decent food which is also out of line because $150 of my monthly rent goes specifically to feeding me. A small plate of leftover salad and single, stale serving of творог ("tvorog" think like sweet cottage cheese of sorts) doesn't really constitute an acceptable breakfast, especially when she's being paid to provide me with two full meals a day. A babushka would cry in shame at such fare. In the immortal words of Whitney Houston, show me the receipts! Seriously, I would love to see how much money she's pocketed each month in feeding me leftover slop for breakfast. Look, I understand that she works and occasionally I wouldn't mind if that's what was waiting for me when I woke up in the morning. It happens. However, when I'm in a situation where that happens at least 3 or 4 days a week that's pretty unacceptable. 

I'll cut to the climax of the story since I could go on for pages and pages about the various reasons why it's so unpleasant living with her. Plus, the climax of this story (at least I hope it is since this situation is currently ongoing) is totally ridiculous. Right, so even before I went on my last trip a week or so ago, I decided that I definitely wanted to move. Initially, that was only going to happen at the end of the semester but Phillip worked his magic and found me a new place to live with a kind babushka who cooks really well and gave me a sheep skin coat when she decided that I was "as skinny as a north korean". Like I said, most people here are really nice! I was supposed to live with this woman, Ludmila Danilovna, from the get go but unfortunately, due to health problems, she wasn't able to take me in. Now that she's feeling better and after meeting me and hearing how crappy my situation is (and deciding that I was underfed, the worst of crimes in the world of babushkas) she invited me to come live with her starting in December. Basically when I heard that I could flee from the clutches of Irina a month early, I was ready to cut the cord and get out. Why suffer any longer than I had to? According to our renter's agreement, all I had to do to be on the up and up was give her two weeks notice that I would be leaving. 

All that needed to be done was to double check with the university here in Irkutsk that I could change my registration, which I could, and then I could give my two weeks notice. I was especially ready to do this since she was more rude to me than usual after I got back from my trip a week ago. I caught a cold on the second leg of it so when I got back to Irkutsk last Saturday, all I really wanted to do was sleep all day on my couch which in no way affects or inconveniences anyone. (Also, seriously, I'm 22 and a grad student. It is my divine right to sleep all day on the weekend if I so choose. That is why I decided to go massively into student debt.) Of course, I never heard the end of it when I came out for dinner. "Are you just going to sleep all day tomorrow too? I don't even understand how you can be tired. You were on vacation.". When I explained that I was tired because I barely slept during the trip (details soon to come in my trip post, a much happier post), she immediately implied that the reason I hadn't slept on my trip was because I was busy having wild, unrestrained sex with Phillip all over Novosibirsk. That, by any standards, is totally rude and offensive and annoyed me since I've explained many times over that this is not the case. ANYWAY. Irina also decided this weekend that she was tired of the fact that my damp laundry, which I do by hand once a week in the bathtub, makes my room humid when I hang it out to dry and wants me to start taking it to a laundromat. So basically if I don't pay $50 a month to use her washing machine, then I can't do any laundry in the house what so ever which is a joke. Needless to say, when I got the go ahead from the university to give my two weeks notice, I was more than happy to let her know. This is when the fun began. 

I explained to her that my classes next semester would be moved to МИЭЛ, the university on the left island of Irkutsk, therefore making my commute every day a complete nightmare so I was going to move. This isn't the case but I figured that it would be the least offensive excuse as to why I was moving since I didn't want to create a scandal since I'd be forced to live with her another two weeks. Of course, my reasoning didn't matter since she's a harpy and only out for my money and immediately launched into a tirade about how she was being cheated out of December's rent since she could have taken in another foreign student instead of me from the get go. That's also not the case since all of the other foreign students who came this semester chose to live in the dorms (Middlebury makes us live in host families which is usually the right call) and I was the only student who was looking for a room to rent. In any case, even if there were other students that she could have taken in, by the terms of our renter's agreement, I'm only obligated to pay on a month to month basis and only have to give two weeks notice if I decide to move. Which I did. She's also broken our agreement ten times over so I didn't feel all that bad in any case. After her tirade, I decided to go out for the night with some of my friends which turned out to be a good call since not long after that, Phillip made the official "Middlebury" phone call to her to let her know that I would be moving and all hell broke loose. 

Irina decided that I should have to pay her for the month of December, despite the fact that I would be leaving on the 30th of November, and refused to refund the $50 I paid in advance for December's rent because we "weren't behaving fairly" (i.e. Вы не правильно со мной поступили!!!). She's a peach. Long story short, Phillip was not having it and dealt with her appropriately then called to warn me so I stayed out until she went to bed. It was a good call. For roughly twenty four hours I didn't see her and when I did for the first time last night, she was extremely cold towards me and basically said absolutely nothing other than that there was dinner on the table if I wanted it (this was when she strolled in at about 9 at night without leaving me anything in the fridge for dinner, also a "no no" per our agreement). I figured that if that was the worst she would do, then I could put up with another two weeks in the apartment since I'd already paid for November and didn't want to lose that money. Cut to this morning when I woke up. Initially, I got the silent treatment and then she began to talk and first launched into a tirade about Phillip being weird for moving into a new apartment and trying to get me to agree that it was "some sort of sign" (which I didn't because Phillip is the shit and awesome) and maybe I shouldn't let him make me move because that's weird. I disagreed. Politely, but firmly. And then she started going off about how she was going to go complain to the university about Phillip "breaking the agreement" and that's when I corrected her and let her know that in no way was Phillip or I for that matter, breaking anything since all we had to do was give her two week's notice. And then she started going off on me about all sorts of imagined wrongs--blah, blah, blah. For the most part in Russia, like I said, I'm a pretty calm person but it's a totally different situation when someone is blatantly taking advantage of me or treating me unfairly like she was, so needless to say, I was not having it. To my credit, I wasn't rude but I was very firm and cut her off mid tirade and let her know what was up. If only there was an OPI tester present! I would have easily gotten a Superior. It's amazing how awesome my Russian gets when I'm furious. Really, it suddenly becomes 10 times better than it normally is when I'm reading someone the riot act. Basically, I let her know that in no way was any of that my responsibility, that the university in Irkutsk determines where I have my classes--not me--that Middlebury decides where I live--not me--and that in no way was I breaking any agreement and if she wanted a reminder, I would be happy to show her what she signed when I moved in and we could go over some of the other details she seemed to have forgotten about. Also, that it's the university in Irkutsk's decision where I have classes--not Phillip's--and their ultimate say where I'm registered--not Phillip's--but if she has a problem with him, she should get in contact with him and not complain to me, and that he would be more than happy to address her concerns again. And she promptly shut up in shock and anger. But being a generally unpleasant, spiteful sort of person, she then launched into a new tirade about how she was going to report me to immigration services and that if any nasty problems popped up for me, I shouldn't get offended because I was the one who was choosing to leave. At that point, I pretty much laughed in her face since my visa lasts until mid June and I'll be getting a new registration when I move, so absolutely nothing would ever come of that. Also, I know for a fact that she's dodging taxes by having her mother registered in their city apartment when in fact she lives out in the country. So there. This would have been the greatest OPI in the history of OPIs if it had been recorded. It's a shame. It ended with her storming out of the room which I take as a sign that I won or rather, that she knows that she's completely in the wrong and had nothing else to say after I called her out for it. 

Looong story short, I'm moving out for good on Monday. Phillip is moving into a two bedroom apartment and won't be fully moved in for another week or so so there's an empty, but fully furnished, apartment for me to live in until December 1st. The person who lived here before him may or may not have been a transient serial killer so the apartment is filled with all sorts of weird but highly entertaining stuff so it should be a fun filled two weeks of exploration. The only part of this that sucks is that I lose rent money for the month of November that should have gone to feeding me but it's worth eating ramen and гречка for two weeks if it means getting out of that place. Oh lord. I'm in the apartment right now killing a bit of time before I go back to hell for the night. The reasoning behind this is that Phillip and I are going to collect all of my stuff Monday morning while she's at work and move me out then to avoid a huge, unnecessary blow out so I'll be spending tonight and tomorrow night at the apartment to keep up appearances. It should be fun. Updates to come! 

Sorry for such a long, nasty post but it's what's going on in my life right now and I guess the whole point of this blog is to keep people up to date with what I'm up to. I'll try to make the next post more upbeat since I still have to update about my latest Trans-Siberian adventure. Until then, I leave you with this mess. 

Life in Irkutsk

This time round in Russia is actually pretty great. This is due to many different factors. One of them is that I now know not to dress like this while in Russia. Here's a picture of me on my first day in Russia two years ago when I saw where I would be studying (please note the look of apprehension bordering on terror beginning to bloom on my face--I love this picture for so many reasons).

By Russian standards I am the epitome of the slovenly foreigner. Although I do love that coat. <.<

My point is that this time round I know a lot more about Russian culture and that alone makes things much easier. Russia without the lens of extreme culture shock and seasonal depression is a totally different place. That was more or less what I was starting to figure out during the Spring semester last time I was here and why I was willing to come back and give life here another shot. I'm glad I did!  Granted, Irkutsk is the strangest place I've ever lived in and I make an ass out of myself literally every day---but that's besides the point. I'm having a good time and that's really all that matters. 

I have a place to live: 

This is my room. It is extremely Russian. Note the semi-nude portrait of J-Lo hanging above my couch.

It demanded a close up. Everything about this picture is the epitome of class and I love it. 

My living situation isn't the greatest part of my Irkutsk experience despite the fabulous decor of my room which should, in theory, make up for literally anything. But really, it's not all that bad. My host just happens to be pretty focused on my uncanny ability to produce rent money in crisp $100 bills and is convinced that I'm secretly very rich (despite all outward appearances) and sees this as an excuse to try and get extra money from me where she sees fit. Just a tip for anyone ever thinking of living in Russia--$50 a month for laundry is in no way a fair price. Not even if you're a secretly rich American graduate student like me. What my host didn't foresee is that I'm actually insanely stingy by any standards and am willing to just throw all of my laundry in the bathtub, spend $2 on laundry detergent, and do it by hand. I don't want to complain too much about anything so I'll follow this up by noting that my host has a cute dog named Alisa who is by far my favorite member of the household. Here she is sleeping on the couch while my host is out for her afternoon broom ride around Irkutsk.

My Russian "talking to dogs voice" is the same as my English one. Aaawwwwrrrrrr. 

 I will note that the whole "secretly rich American" idea really isn't as far fetched as it seems (not that it makes it right to try and rip me off). As one of my professors here put it, Americans are less likely to show off wealth than their Russian counterparts. By this, she meant that most Americans dress much more casually than their Russian counterparts (and by this she meant that most of the American students that come to the foreign university dress like slobs--or more or less how I'm dressed in the above picture). I've done a much better job of dressing like a Russian this time and it's amazing how different a reaction I get from people. FYI, all you need to do to dress like a Russian is the following: 

Take this quote by Coco Chanel about dressing with accessories "Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off" and replace with "Put at least one or two more things on. Maybe three. Also at least one item should be bedazzled. This is Russian law." Done. That's all it takes. So my original point was that even if you as an American don't dress all that flashy, people still assume that you may be totally loaded and are too jaded by your mountains of cash to care. As a cultural note, if you're Russian people just assume you're poor and feel bad for you--this is not me saying this, this is coming directly from one of my professors. Take it how you will. I've made a point of telling my host that this is not the case and a spur of the moment trip to Thailand isn't really in my immediate future but apparently I can just ask my parents for the money when I go home for break. I can't believe that never occurred to me. So, parents, if you're reading this, I would prefer a manilla envelope of $20 bills to pay for the trip. Thanks! 

The situation with my host is literally the only somewhat negative thing about my time here so in the scheme of things, I have nothing to complain about. As a whole, people here have been really nice to me so I don't want you to think that behavior like that is the norm. Just the other day I was at the train station buying tickets for my trip later this week (more about that later) and ended up having a hilarious interaction with the man selling me my tickets that resulted in me obtaining a free houseplant. 

 I can't make things like this up. I need to come up with a name for him/her/it. 

Yes, a random ticket vendor gave me a houseplant just because he was impressed with the fact that I could speak Russian. He also may have been suspicious of this fact (hence the brief moment of "Your Russian is good!--long pause--where did you get such good Russian? And why are you here...?") but his love of Obama and Nicolas Cage movies was enough to soothe these suspicions and give me a free houseplant. This is the truest example of Siberian hospitality I have encountered yet and counteracts any other negative experiences I've had. In all seriousness, the people that I know the best here, my professors and my Russian friends, are all really great, kind people and have made me feel very welcome so I have no excuse to complain. 

I also have non-Russian friends who I hang out with. Compared to St. Petersburg, Irkutsk has relatively few foreigners as a whole but that isn't to say that they're a rare commodity. There are actually a lot of foreign students here--even other Americans, although they study at another university in town so I rarely, if ever, see them. Most of the time at my university, I'm the first American anyone has ever met...I'm sorry other Americans. The one thing I'll admit to is drinking coke far more frequently in Russia than I do in America which makes me a walking stereotype and doesn't help any of us. I'm sorry. I only noticed this because literally every time I buy a coke when I'm with Russians (or other non-Americans) everyone immediately gets this knowing look on their face and asks me how long it's been since my last fix. Or how many cokes I drink a day, is it a law in America, etc. etc. The best response would probably be to only drink coke when I'm alone in my room and act superior in public but I refuse to succumb to public shaming. I'm just waiting for the day when one of these people eats borsht in front of me. Game. On. (At least there's not a McDonalds here because I would be there literally every day, shaming our people and getting monstrously fat because Russian McDonalds is fabulous and has the cheapest, decent quality coffee around...) 

Right, before I got distracted, I was talking about the other foreign students I know here. It's actually been an unexpected bonus getting to meet so many different people from all over the world here in Irkutsk. We all speak Russian together--at least when I'm around because they've accepted my crazy, Russian-only ways--and have a lot of fun navigating the ins and outs of life here. It's great having people to appreciate the absurdity of life here with. Sometimes there are moments that only another foreigner can truly appreciate. Since there aren't any other Middlebury students here this semester, I usually end up having to appreciate these moments by myself and then having to try not to smile or show any sort of joy or amusement. Because that would be insane. Next semester will be a lot of fun when the new students come, especially considering that they're all Russia first-timers. Oh god, it will be wonderful. 

Some of my foreign friends (and me) at the sketchy looking Uzbek restaurant we found in the Chinese market. It was as delicious as it was sketchy. Which is to say it was insanely delicious. 

It's always interesting talking with other Americans who are in Russia for the first time and hearing their take on things. A lot of the things that freaked me out last time don't really register as being all that weird my second time round so it's interesting to hear what really jumps out at other people. Another American described it to me like this, "I don't know how to say this in Russian, but everything here is sketchy.". Upon first glance, this may or may not be true. Then you realize that beyond that sketchiness lies delicious Uzbek food and free houseplants and you begin to come to terms with it. 

Speaking of things that terrified me in Russia last time--I present you with the poodle face that hung over my bed. This was probably the root of all of my problems in Russia. 

In short, I'm having a much better time in Russia this time round and that's mostly due to the fact that I'm embracing the absurdities, focusing on the positive, and getting regular sunlight. Occasionally though, it's good to let loose and embrace your inner American-ness. When Phillip and I were on our Trans-Siberian trip, we rented an apartment in one of the cities and the second the Russian land-lady left, there was a quick pause before we had a "The Russians are gone!" moment and turned into complete and utter lunatics. In this case, that meant opening all of the windows (because Russians love stuffy rooms) and in my case, reveling in the fact that I didn't have to wear house shoes. Different people have different methods of embracing their American-ness. Some people like practicing rhythmic gymnastics. I prefer dancing crazier than a Southern Baptist to Queen in my room when no one is home and scaring the dog with my artistic renderings of Bohemian Rhapsody. To each his own. The most important thing is that you let loose from time to time because there's definitely a difference between acceptable behavior around Russians and how you would act on a normal basis if left to your own devices. That's at least how I keep from going insane. So on that note I'll leave you with my favorite "Russia" song.